Vulgar jokes constantly misfire in this big screen adaptation

Here’s the thing about the Baywatch movie. It could have been pretty damn funny. The concept is so ridiculous it begs to be the subject of satire. Unfortunately, the studio or filmmakers (likely both) decided to push the raunch factor and just hope people are so entertained by The Rock and Zac Efron and the slow motion running they won’t notice how stupid it is.

The Rock is playing David Hasselhoff‘s character from the show. (Why does this guy have to be in every remake or reboot or video game whatever adaptation?) Zac Efron is a disgraced Olympic swimmer who is used to riding solo. There’s a loser fat guy I guess to represent the perceived fan base. Then there are a bunch of hot chicks, led by Kelly Rohrbach as CJ Parker (previously played by Pamela Anderson).

When The Rock realizes his beach is being used by drug smugglers he springs into action, of course he has to take things into his own hands, which is the ridiculous part, right? Cuz they’re just friggin’ lifeguards; something the local police keep reminding him. But they don’t do anything either, so whatever, right?

While I expected dumb comedy, I at least hoped for some smart jokes. Instead this movie can almost be summed up by saying it’s two hours of jokes about dicks and tits. Yes. Two %$#&*@ hours! Way too long considering the plot is so simple minded and cliche. And when your jokes aren’t funny, man it makes for some seriously dull stretches.

And that should be a crime considering you have The Rock, usually a fun dude to watch (even though he feels grossly miscast here) and Efron, who seems to play the same lovable and misunderstood frat boy douche bag, but fuck it, he’s good at it. There is some genuine chemistry here, but it’s wasted.

Baywatch is every bit the dumb, mindless crap it should have been, but unfortunately the decision to hammer home the obvious jokes rather than have some creative fun means this team may not get another summer of fun.

Check out my full Baywatch movie review at

Baywatch (2017) Official Trailer — Paramount Pictures

About the author

Tim has been reviewing movies professionally since 2012. Currently, he writes for in addition to his writing and hosting duties for and the Reel Hooligans podcast. He has been voting member of the Broadcast Film Critics Association since 2014, and currently sits as a board member for the Independent Filmmakers Coalition of Kansas City and the Kansas City Film Critics Circle as well as the founder of the Terror on the Plains Horror Festival.

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